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Friday, November 19, 2004

YOU KNOW YOU'VE BEEN IN HR FOR TOO LONG WHEN

I don't know who the author of this joke is but it sure is funny! From an HR Manager's point view that is!
  • You ask the waiter what the restaurant's core competencies are.
  • You decide to re-org your family into a "team-based organization."
  • You can spell "paradigm."
  • You actually know what a paradigm is.
  • You understand your airline's fare structure.
  • You write executive summaries on your love letters.
  • Your Valentine's Day cards have bullet points.
  • You think that it's actually efficient to write a ten page presentation with six other people you don't know.
  • You celebrate your wedding anniversary by conducting a performance review.
  • You believe you never have any problems in your life, just "issues" and "improvement opportunities".
  • You end every argument by saying "let's talk about this off-line".
  • You can explain to somebody the difference between "re-engineering", "down-sizing", "right-sizing", and "firing people's asses".
  • You actually believe your explanation in the above point.
  • You talk to the waiter about process flow when dinner arrives late.
  • You start to feel sorry for Dilbert's boss.
  • You account for your tuition as a capital expenditure (read: cost>center) instead of an expense.
  • At your last family reunion, you wanted to have an emergency>meeting> about the family's attrition rate
  • Your "deliverable" for Sunday evening is clean laundry and paid bills.
  • You use the term "value-added" without falling down laughing.
  • You ask the car salesman if the car comes with a whiteboard and Internet connection.
  • You give constructive feedback to your dog.
  • You give your girlfriend/boyfriend a golden handshake on the way out!
Keep smiling!

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